Game of Spoilers

You probably don’t know this, because people on the internet have been uncharacteristically quiet and subdued about it, but popular HBO TV series “Game of Thrones” has come to an end.

At long last, GRRM’s magnificent fantasy epic has concluded, and who could have seen that ending, eh?

Old Nan, the Queen of Westeros. What a twist!

In retrospect, the signs were all there, hidden in plain sight.

How did she know so much about the White Walkers and their minions? Why, because she was secretly the bastard offspring of a forbidden love affair between a White Walker and his Child of the Forest bride, of course!

A long-lived near-immortal who used her position of trust amongst the Starks, and her magical heritage from those ancient bloodlines, to manipulate the Seven Kingdoms into futile and self-destructive wars. Ultimately allowing her to seize the Iron Throne and declare that all children need to eat their dinner and go to bed early on pain of being eaten by Ice Spiders.

Brilliant storytelling. Just, brilliant.

Of course, I haven’t actually watched Season 8 yet (it’s hard to find time at the moment, with a baby), so I might have made that all up. 😉

If you look closely at the image above, you can see the small telltale signs of it being ‘shooped.

Don’t beat yourself up for not noticing until I pointed it out, I’m a trained digital artist, yo.

And social media right now is like one of those ancient tombs Indiana Jones is always exploring – Dank, musty, and full of Nazis! Ba-dum-dsshhh!

I’m here all night! ;D

Heh. No, I meant it’s like a tomb in that it’s full of traps. But instead of giant boulders and pits full of scorpions, it’s a play-by-play of all the key dramatic moments from the last few episodes. :/

Luckily, the kind inhabitants of Online have been considerate enough to tag each of their image memes with GoT-specific keywords so that my carefully set up filters can catch them and shield my unspoiled eyes from forbidden knowledges…

…no, that’s also a lie. Fuckers have been posting untagged spoilers as fast as their grubby little hands can paste GoT screencaps into existing meme formats.

Here’s a visualization of my poor browser filters trying to deal with the onslaught:

Ah well, I’m not mad (Also a lie – I am mad, but resigned to it now).

This is why I went and saw Avengers: Endgame on opening night – fear of spoilers. I don’t generally like going to highly-anticipated movies on opening night. Too crowded. But nowadays, your only hope to avoid spoilers is to stay off the internet until you’ve seen the popular thing yourself.

I actually took the morning off work to go watch, that’s how determined I was not to have it spoiled. Worth it. I can’t find the time necessary to complete an entire season of a TV show in a timely fashion right now, though. Sadly.

Nor do I have the willpower to stay off the internet that long. I can last a day or two before I need my fix, man. 😛

None of this would have happened if GRRM had just finished those damn books. I managed to read most of them before the show started, but once the show overtook the novels there was no chance of ferreting myself away for a week and just getting them out of the way.

Will be interesting to read them when he finally finishes the series, though. Word on the street is that the TV feels rushed. I felt that about season 7 as well, so I’m not surprised. One thing you can’t accuse Martin of, and that’s rushing. 😛

So I’m sure the books’ ending will be the superior fare, for fans. And enough time will probably have passed by then that none of us will remember all the details, anyway. XD

Anyway, Gareth out. I’ll catch you North of The Wall, fantasy fans. 😉

“Da nananana naaaaa, na na naaaaa….”